Karaoke night, and quite a night it was. Present from midway through were the vast majority of the Beggar's Opera cast and production team - including Helen (who had a small role with group singing and a few solo lines), Lyndsay (director), Chris (musical director, played an electronic keyboard set to sound like a harpsichord) and goodness knows how many others. Also present were a number of the musical theatre group, including CE. That's relevant.

By that point I'd already sung a couple of things; Frozen went oddly well, Wind Beneath My Wings suffered from a technical problem that caused the backing track to fade and die, although I kept singing for a while unaccompanied. Cue jokes about it sounding like an audition for The Why Factor; I was more thinking of a audition for the musical theatre group. Of which our host is a part...

(Tangentially: I have had it suggested that I should apply to be next year's host, and I am extremely tempted. Am working on the assumption it won't happen, but we'll see. First thing that will change; new songs. The last song list update was in November 2005. No, really.)

CE comes along. I suggest singing a duet with her at some point, because, you know, I'm writing a duet for myself and her. She suggests that I pick a song and she'll join me midway through it; I'd worry about picking a song that she couldn't sing, but we're talking about someone who can handle the role of Elphaba here, so frankly there is not a concern on that front. I consider possible songs, contemplate Relight My Fire with CE to take the role of Lulu, reconsider on the grounds of not being quite able to remember the verse (when in fact the correct reason was concern over it being too high), consider some more. Get approached by a random blonde to sing a duet. Decide it's worth it, consider options, wind up opting for When You're Gone. Split it up slightly differently, I took the first verse and her the second, and she was given the main melody for the final chorus while I harmonised. Was quite amusing, though by her own admission she wasn't that good.

So, then, I waited to sing with CE. And waited. And waited some more. During this time, I chatted to Lyndsay, and contemplated the viability of writing musical theatre parts for high female voices; I proposed G(a)linda as the template, Lyndsay pointed out much depended on the singer. (The unspoken: high female voices in musical theatre are indeed a bad fit, unless you're Kristen Chenoweth.) I chatted to Helen also, elaborated on the strategic plan, laughed at someone singing When You Say Nothing At All moderately badly (it was, I think, the first song I learned with Gemma, and I told Helen that), and generally had good conversation.

I then got called again. Oh, I was excited now. CE remained off the stage, she would emerge at the appropriate moment. Namely the end of the first chorus, for we were singing Against All Odds, and the strategy here was for me to sing the first verse and CE the second.

I honestly think I sung rather well. I was nervous as CE remained talking for some time, and audibly called her up a good three lines before I needed to. She came along. She started singing. Her first line was somewhat dodgy, and the microphone was rather further away than certainly I would put it. To the point where I didn't know if she could be heard.

Then I realised.

Giving CE a microphone is like giving NuLab the ability to remove the Human Rights Act. It adds power when there's more than enough already. This was hinted at when she utterly drowned out Surge and backstage techie Andy in a duet of Everything I Do, and was evident again here. Once she got going, she certainly got going, and I was very impressed. I harmonised in the extended final chorus, and all in all it quite worked.

Beckie - who is singing with CE in the SSAA piece I have written for our choir's concert later this year - told me, with no obvious irony, that I was better than her.

Frighteningly, I didn't immediately argue back. Granted, CE was probably drunk, but she sounded an awful lot better than last week when she certainly was highly inebriated...

Finally I was able to believe in myself. About time, too.

Spoke to Lyndsay again afterwards, asserted that an adversarial duet (Defying Gravity being the example I used) would work well, and that CE could do 'angry' quite brilliantly. Said the same to Joey too, and enquired about the new writers' showcase that the university's straight drama group put on annually, this year in May. (Last weekend was their improv-driven variety show; would have gone, but was warned that the techies would resort to Big Shinies given any chance whatsoever, and settled instead for sticking around after Duel for Thank God You're Here, which left me unexpectedly cold - perhaps because of being quite a comedown from the previous hour - but I'm quite willing to give it another try.) Sketches are around ten minutes' each; I'm trying to decide what to do with mine. Something satirical, that's for sure, and a parody of the game show genre through a contestant drawn in by an Edmondsesque host has room for making points about psychological pressure and individuality, which obviously is home territory for me.

Speaking of home territory, here's one for the irony books: the jazz/gospel choir I chose not to join on sensory grounds are performing later in the year... in Weymouth.

Upon arriving home, I wrote alternative lyrics to (part of) a melody that our main reader will be familiar with, relating to a current event; I will post said lyrics ifwhen this comes to pass.

---

Incidentally: when did Millionaire stop using 'it's only easy if you know the answer' as a catchphrase? I'm sure I've not heard it in a long time.

Of course, as dropped catchphrases go, Deal or No Deal dropping 'the show that gives real people a real chance to win real money' stands out as the most telling. Was that the moment that show jumped the shark?

Talk about dumbing-down - Macroeconomics exam today was not 'two questions from a choice of three in each of two sections, two hours' but 'one question from a choice of two in each of two sections, two hours'. The questions were longer, but it is laughable to claim they were twice as long. If I pass, that's why, and I won't consider it legitimate unless I'm at least out of the bottom quartile. And I won't be.

Because I'm useless at algebraic manipulation, graphical manipulation and essentially the logic of economics. The spark has quite spectacularly fizzled out, and the course now seems deadly dull and dreadfully difficult.

Politics, on the other hand, feels alarmingly manageable. I say 'alarmingly' because I was still convinced that in fact I am a mathematician making excuses for his non-ability even in mathematics by taking a cowardly way out towards a pure essay subject, one that just about anyone can do. Clearly, Politics must be lacking in rigour if I, a mathematical type, can do better in it than Economics.

Never did I consider the possibility that I am in fact better at essays; that their internal logic is more suited to my autistic mind than algebraic manipulation; that my way with words exacerbates this advantage in essay-writing, allowing for interesting and/or concise expressions of ideas, a talent further honed through my lyric writing (lawks, five years I've been doing that now - doesn't feel it, but then I couldn't imagine a time when I wasn't doing it now). Two years not studying maths can't have helped, but I suspect it wasn't the critical factor.

Spoke to my tutor, who was most helpful, and pointed out that many Aspies are told they're 'meant' to be mathematical when their talents may lie elsewhere. And so it is that two of my four courses for the next few months have been changed, of which the critical change is the addition of a research module in Politics, which acts as preparation for a dissertation.

Read that again. Twelve months after the ill-fated decision to chase the Econometrics stream, I have decided to do a dissertation in a subject I wasn't even studying until two years after it was first a possibility for me.

Who can say if this is a change for the better...

Choral rehearsal tonight, a short one due to exams; the new piece for the night was For Good. Yay.

Until I started singing it.

Overcome by emotion - and that takes some doing - I burst into uncontrollable tears, and was ushered away by our excellent President Matt, who sings with the basses in rehearsals (for that is his part) and helps out at other points. Waiting for things to happen. Things like this.

He kept reminding me that I really have made it here, to a good university, one that 'doesn't accept dossers' (and pointed out that it was only a significant event in Year 13 that stopped him from going to Cambridge, for he had received a conditional offer but circumstances prevented him from attaining it - instead, he took his insurance option of Southampton or was sent there by clearing, it was not clear which, and says he has still felt stimulated), and that the issues of independence had perhaps gone away.

All true. And all, in this case, completely missing the point.

Had this been, oh, any of the other Elphaba songs that make me cry, that would not have been so. But For Good is altogether different, relating as it does to a certain guilt in such detachment, of reflecting upon what has been gained from attachment, and it was that which made me cry. (Now, Defying Gravity, that be another matter. And Popular, another matter again. See posts passim.)

I now know the ranges of all four people in the acapella group. They are far too similar for comfort, and for the person who can sing A5 and the person who can sing F3 to be the same (CE) is not good... CE might end up as a second alto, and that is arguably a waste of her talents.

She can shine instead in her other performance, showing up yours truly in a duet...

(I'm going to have to re-tag everything at this rate...)

Non-singing stuff out the way first.

( A glorious incentive to use public transport, and a timely reminder of why I need to be more open with my family sometimes )

( Now the singing stuff, and some greatly unexpected developments on the composition front. Read 'Part 2' on the Mennyms audition first, for much of this builds upon that. )

A most interesting post, and one that certainly points out the fallacy of 'high culture' and 'pop culture'.

As someone whose primary artistic involvement (and certainly field of knowledge) is in music, and specifically singing, that's the angle I'm going to reply to this from.

( And it's a reply that goes on a bit )

This is the time when most people are goal-setting, usually very poorly and with twelve-month periods in mind.

I, however, now conceptualise in three-month periods, given the now-immense symbolism of October 1 in my life.

That said, I also have rather long-term plans also. So makes sense to plan 3, 6 and 12-month goals...

By end of Q1 2008
* Complete at least three pieces of music totalling at least six minutes in duration that include a piano arrangement (of which one will be written for self and one for NI), and one a capella piece for female voices
* Attain a mean and median mark of at least 60 in first-semester examinations

{Incidental note at this point: Naomi quotes her useful range as Ab3-A5. I shall spend some time with her during the process of writing the piece to check for the best ways to approach notes at either extreme, and possibly to see if notes just outside this range are usable - she's produced them before, she's warmed up to C6. I suspect she's quoting a single usable range as a simplification, probably for auditions of whatever type, and that there are variations I have yet to understand fully.}

By end of Q2 2008
* Attain a mean and median mark of at least 60 in second-semester examinations (this may not be known until Q3, but the exams are in Q2)
* Perform a four-song set, to include at least two original songs, at an open mic night in Southampton, accompanying self on piano/keyboard without making substantial mistakes
* Become elected as Programme Controller for Surge (elections take place in late Q2)
By end of 2008
* Produce a CD of my own music (performed by self and/or others~) of at least 30 minutes' duration. Covers performed by self (optionally with others) can be included on this CD but do not count towards the 30-minute target


~ side note - this allows for both songs performed entirely by me (read: piano instrumentals, or songs with my own vocals and accompanying self on piano), by me with others (read: providing vocals and optionally piano, while having other performers - vocalists and/or instrumentalists - involved as well), or just by others (read: a piece for an instrument I don't play, a piece for one I do play that is beyond my capabilities at that point (most likely to apply to clarinet), or - most likely - a piece for female voice(s) with an accompaniment I would not trust myself to play). It is tremendously likely that all three will be included.

Saturday night, Avenue St Andrew's Church. Looks like a new build, or at least a recent renovation; there's a glass-door frontage with a light concrete asymmetric arch over it, and there is a blue neon-lit sign outside with the name of the church in Verdana.

( It may not be Las Vegas, but it's my big Saturday night showtime alright )

This is the kind of experience that university can provide without you knowing it. Would I have had any kind of opportunity like that in Weymouth? Choral singing, possibly; backstage lighting and radio DJing, unquestionably not.

And this choir is most interesting too. It's entirely unauditioned, and so informal that you have a couple of people who can't read music in it; conversely there are some for whom singing's a genuine career aspiration, such as NI.

( Something was missing, though... )

Two weeks of frustrating delay. One other huge event tonight (even if it does involve merely pressing a button twelve times). And yet this is still undisputably one of the biggest moments of the academic year thus far for me. Finally, the first lesson with Shylo.
( I did expect a long post here, but I never expected this. Includes digressions on the state of pop music, the songwriting process, a brief mention for Alice, and evidence of slavishness to Gemma that I need to quite literally break... )